Why we date.

Rebecca turns 16 on Saturday. She will then be able to date. She has heard some rumors that a certain boy is going to ask her to the homecoming dance. She thinks that would be okay. She likes the boy, she likes to dance, and she gets a new pretty dress to wear. I think the pretty dress is the most appealing part of the deal.

I’ve noticed that frequently young women secretly want to date in order to get a new dress, as an excuse to dress up, or as an opportunity to wear something new they bought but haven’t found the appropriate occasion to wear it. This is not something I realized when I was in high school or college. Back then I just thought the young woman was excited to go out with me.

On the other hand, many of the young men I knew when I was in school frequently just wanted someone, anyone suitable, to go with them to a certain event. It wasn’t that they had studied long and hard to determine which young woman they wanted to get to know and to whom they wanted to begin a relationship. The guys weren’t looking for a relationship at all, but it seems that this is the idea the young women had about why they were being asked on a date.

Maybe it is just as well we have these illusions.